A Letter to the Imbecile Dave Dombrowski

Dear Dave Dombrowski,

Giancarlo Stanton, Marcell Ozuna, J.D. Martinez, Yasiel Puig, Jose Abreu. These are just a few of the names that have come up in Red Sox circles. Yet somehow, someway Dave, you have acquired 0 help for this lineup. Instead, you just want to sit there in the front office and watch it unfold while you play with your thumbs and wonder what minor league talent you have left to give up. What a joke. Alex Cora is about to step in as the Red Sox manager this year with a team unfit to win. Sox were DEAD LAST in home runs in the American League last season, so it seemed like a guarantee that they would sign a big slugger this offseason. But here we are, mid-January, and all I hear is crickets.

I’m officially in full panic mode Dave. You have the money. You have the motive, but what you don’t have: the guts. You are so afraid to give someone a horrible contract that you would rather sit here and watch this team burn with Chris Sale in his prime. If you give up your entire farm system to get Chris Sale you better be gunning for the World Series, and you aren’t getting there with Mitch Moreland batting cleanup.

Dave come on. The absolute last hope is getting J.D. Martinez. If you fail to acquire Martinez I hope you personally buy every player a plane ticket down to Florida for next October. This team stinks. Give me a holy grail Dombrowski. Give me a saving grace. I’m at my last wits. Please.

Sincerely,

Paul McGovern