38 Year Old Joe Thornton Loses Part of His Beard in a Fight in the 1st Period

At one point in my life, hockey, in my eyes, was the greatest sport in the world. The NHL Network was the only thing I watched, I wore hockey sweaters every other day, and the NHL Playoffs were the most electric time of the year. However, in 2015 the Bruins were beginning a series of extremely disappointing seasons, the Sharks were staying true to their brand of choking in the playoffs, and basketball slowly but surely took over as my new favorite sport. To this day basketball is still the sport I live and breathe, but there are moments like this that remind me why we don’t deserve hockey.

Kadri really did remove a hunk of beard… OUCH pic.twitter.com/BJ0StaoXXf

— CJ Fogler AKA Perc70 #BlackLivesMatter (@cjzero) January 5, 2018

In case you missed it, Jumbo Joe Thornton of the San Jose Sharks got into a fight with Nazem Kadri in the first period of last week’s Maple Leafs vs Sharks matchup. It’s ridiculous to think that a 38 year old athlete would get into a fight in the first place. Usually athletes that old are either retired, coming off the bench and barely still in their respective leagues, or they’re Tom Brady and they’re actually gods. What’s even more insane is that 38 year old Jumbo Joe wasn’t just fighting another middle aged NHL player like my favorite dinosaur, Jaromir Jagr (no but seriously though Jagr is an international treasure and I hope he plays longer than Gordie Howe did), Joe Thornton actually threw haymakers at a 27 year old IN THE FIRST PERIOD. I get he used to be an enforcer, but when Thornton made his debut with the B’s in 1997, the Thrashers were still a team and Kadri himself was literally 7 years old and was probably still learning how to skate backwards. INSANELY bold strategy for Joe to think he could drop the gloves and not regret this fight.

The most gut wrenching part of this fight is seeing that massive facial hairball slide across the ice after the ref just nonchalantly moved it to the side like he was some kind of high school security guard breaking up another hair-tearing-out fight between two girls at lunch. It’s honestly heartbreaking to see the best beard in hockey take such abuse like that, and it gives me chills to try to even imagine how painful it must be having a grown man rip that much of your beard clean off your face. But then again, the average NHL player probably doesn’t even feel pain (i.e. Steven Stamkos taking a slapshot to the eye and then helping himself up and getting off the ice without any hesitation or Rich Peverley literally dying on the bench only to immediately ask how much time was left in the 1st when he came to and asked if he can go back in), and Jumbo Joe is definitely not your average NHL player, so I’m guessing he grew that part of his beard back and then some before he even noticed part of it was gone.

Unfortunately for my Sharks, they lost that game in Toronto 3-2 in a shootout, which was the start of a now 3 game losing streak. However, they’re still the third best team in the Pacific, still holding onto a playoff spot, and now get to take on the worst team in the NHL, the Coyotes, at home in San Jose, and with Calgary having to take on the best team in the league, the Lightning, in Tampa as their next game on their schedule, there’s a solid chance the Sharks will hold off the Flames a little longer. Who knows, maybe Jagr will play in this road game and become the next middle aged NHL player to drop the gloves.

Fun Fact: Kadri was an assist away from a Gordie Howe hat trick (a fight, a goal, and an assist all in one game), which is a stat hockey journalists actually keep track of and another reason why we don’t deserve the great sport of hockey.

Written by Erik Clark